Love is

Many of us are no stranger to strong emotions - We live life experiencing a plethora of states that strongly drives us to do many exceptional things. Instant fear is a predominant one, immediately triggering in us lightning quick reflexes that has been fundamental to life and death decisions. Our ancestors benefited from fear, aiding them by driving their adrenaline to instantly spurt out of harm's way, in cases of extreme danger - the appearance of a rattlesnake defending its brood, or an angry wild boar rushing to attack to its defense - so as it is now in our present time, when a man may suddenly try to ricochet himself away in the onset of an ominous traffic accident.

On the other hand, there is sadness. Sadly, extreme sadness pushes some of us to end our short lives, while in others, it becomes a motivating factor and an iron steel resolve to live as long as possible to eliminate all bouts of causes that will lead to unhappiness. Pioneers of charitable organizations, enlightened by poverty, inequality or existing social conditions, are driven by the desolation and hardship of others to push forward and alleviate the current situation, implementing and executing monumental projects that drive revolutionary change. Others are driven to excel in different fields - medicine, technology, process - to speed up what would be otherwise be a relative slow pace of progress.

And then there is one we're all quite familiar with - love.

From the very first breath we take, all of us are exposed to varying degrees of love. The secure cradle of a mother with her child against her warm bosom, the slow lull of lullabye sung by grandparents, the company of schoolmates, the camaraderie of colleagues, the warmth of relatives, a lasting friendship, a committed relationship, a promise to God - all these are varying aspects.

But like everything in this world, there is a danger of misinterpreting ideas... whether by being miscommunicated, mislead by the pervading norm, or rationally forcing them to be our own. Ideals and abstracts can be easily interpreted or understood to be wrong, just because they are what they are - vague, all applicable, bendable.

I do not proclaim that my version is correct... but I have to admit, I believe in ideals, and very much critical in my own actions brought about by it. I live my life to attain them, and it will desperately pain me to know that my understanding may be faulty. So, here is my version of what love is, and what I live by, for it.

What Love is not -

• Love is not a fleeting emotion - you're mistaking it with passion.
  
• Love is not a feeling - that's only your head talking to your heart to beat faster.
• Love is not a whim - it does not come and go as it pleases
  
• Love is not short term - its not an on and off switch

It is not how many of Hollywood movies portray love to be - a sweeping, off-the-floor feeling that leaves your knees weak, and your heart beating rapidly, and with an uncontrollable urge to kiss the one you love. It is not relationships - although love does bear fruit to them. It is neither chemistry between two people - although it does help to initiate it - nor is it a butterfly-in-your-stomach feeling.

In fact, love is not a feeling at all.

What love it is, is a deliberate, thoughtful and committed action. It is a decision and a long lasting commitment. Imagine the love of the mother for her child, rearing the child as it grows into adulthood, or the lasting marriage of an old, amiable couple together for 50 years. Imagine the love of a man for a cause worth fighting for, and dying for it, unwilling to bend into any alternative to the cause.

And yet, a long lasting commitment is not an easy thing. Many of us encounter conflicts in life - no one said life was easy and smooth sailing. Change is an integral part of life. Nothing stays still in this world. The mother will have to brave her child as he or she grows into adolescence, and as an adult with his or her own firm opinion on things. Each of the couple will change in those many years,... priorities change, perceptions and points of view adjust, sometimes drastically, sometimes not. The man will encounter and temptations to steer him away from his ideals... but with love as a hard, solid decision, and commitment, they will persevere.

If love was a feeling, then feelings can change at anytime. Then the mother will abandon her child once he or she is not pliable. The couple will break and separate once they find that they've lost the feeling,... and the man will find it unbearable once temptation ensues, and finally breaking in.

One very important thing to take note of... A committed decision involves integrity, knowledge, and self independence. Do not mistake love between couples as a dependence of two devoted, committed people. Dependence is a result of the committed decision... both remain as separate, independent persons, deciding to come together. Should one be dependent.. then it is not love for that person, but a strange, parasitic relation. Be cautious of those that hide behind the cover of love.

Finally... Love as it is - a commitment and decision - would, and will stand the test of time. And even if the past tense of love is used, the memories surrounding it will never cease to exist. It will be remembered, willingly or not, as it is a powerful motivator by its own right.

Love is simple, yet complicated. It is not so easy to achieve, and will always bring hardship, pain and tears. And for those who have it, as it is described here, in its purest form, they have my highest regards. Because once everything has been done and passed, love bears fruit to the most wonderful of things - A child growing with integrity, and loving her mother back... a couple that will inspire those around them, and a Man that will sacrifice himself for humanity.

And finally, a familiar and traditional description of how love is...

Corinthians 14:3
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

This post is to celebrate what love is - to mothers, couples, and the Man devoted to humanity - and all the beautiful things that grow from it.