What Can Be Lost, Can Be Regained

I recently had a revelation.

Maybe I've just been too worried about myself and my predicament... in the days after writing my previous post, several things transpired that made me realize how much I've changed from how I was a year ago. It took some drastic measures, a lot of introspection and quite a handful of friends' help, but I'm quite glad to say that things look much better.

Its not perfect, but better off than that gloomy, muddled state than I was in a few days ago.

Its amazing how much can change in just a second. A pact, an interesting scenario, a proposal, conflicts, different friend's advices and conversation, (surprisingly) a shopping spree, several movies and a quiet night of coffee in solitude.

I realized how much I missed spending time alone without worries of people's expectations. I spent my time watching a movie, sitting alone for coffee, planning for the next week's working plans, reminiscing old friends, and enjoying new ones.

I missed being with several friends back in the Philippines... I realized they're much my best friends despite the fact that I don't tend to make any effort to reach out to them. All of them are different, complementing different aspects of my personality, shouldering, cradling, supporting each facet of my personality.

I missed being with new friends who take care of me at my workplace. Despite the fact that we don't talk due to our busy schedules, or have lunches often, they're there.

I missed the times when I would go out for a solitary jog, a visit in the library to wade through shelves and shelves of books. They're also my friends, they've kept me company throughout my childhood. I should never have forgotten them. They've never left my side when I had problems, big or small, past, present, or future.

I missed shopping with friends and family. Finding out and realizing what I want and need in particular, and its not just about "anything will do". I used to go off to Hong Kong, during my pre-teens, alone, to shop. Don't pity me, it is never lonely for someone who's spent most of her time in the company of books. Its a special state of mind. No matter how brainless or insignificant it seemed for other people, I would walk alone, going to several sites, finding what I need,... what I needed the most.

I probably didn't find out what I needed the most during these past few days, but I did find out what I left behind. And I managed to walk back to each of them, one by one, to pick them up.

Its my time to cradle. A salute to those I've talked and crossed paths with the past few days since my last post. You know who you are. I may not have expressed gratitude directly, but I'm expressing them now. A talk, chat or an email makes a world of difference. You've made a person regain the soul that have been left missing for some time.

Now, lets see what magnitude this change and this revelation will do for others.