Fun Thing!

Its the most interesting thing that's happened to me since I came to Hong Kong!

I never intended to go; its not my thing, its not in my personality, and it violates my golden rule: Better to have not tried than show the world you failed and make an ass of yourself. But it happened, and I got dragged into this Annie audition for a relatively moderate sized showing on October this year.

To be honest, I've secretly convinced myself for the longest time that I am a star waiting to happen. If only people will hear me open my mouth, sing and drag out those nice vocal tartlets from the pits of my stomach, I will become an overnight sensation, much like super pop star Jay Chou. The world will bow at my feet, and cry themselves when they hear me sing. But I am modest, and shy, and I refuse to attend an audition to show the world my wonderful singing voice.

And yet I stood among 20 plus people in an school building in the Mid Levels area (hard to find the school by the way. tricky tricky.) learning to sing "Hey Ho Bo Man, Hey Dapper Dan ... " without a piano with other play wannabees. It was horrible to begin with, each of us having our own variation of the song (There's the broadway version, the movie version, the harry connick version, yada yada yada,... and no one even had the sense to confirm which version we're supposed to sing) and no starting note, and each variation and tone clashing with one another. Its like screeching cats. Then afterwards we all ended up trying to learn a couple of simple steps the choreographer has just showed us so we can sing and dance simultaneously for the audition. It was definitely for an impromptu "newbie" audition. Me I just danced away, feeling like the whole thing was a funny aerobic exercise. We had a couple of trials until the actual audition. The director entered, asked us to sing in groups (and he passed by and listened to us one by one) and then asked us to repeat the choreography. I just croaked like there's no tomorrow, and danced like no one was looking. (Please, its embarrassing. Dont let me repeat myself.) No telling if it worked or not.

I'm not really worried right now if I got accepted or not. Actually, I would be surprised if I was accepted. I wasn't even contented with the way I sung, and besides, I usually use a "diaphragm" falsetto-like voice when singing, and I dont think that type is actually appropriate for a play like Annie. And as I've said, I danced like no one was looking, which is in short for dancing and jumping like a monkey :) But the thing that got me is that, I never thought auditioning was so much fun. The whole thing gives you a whack on the head on how far away/along you are from most people when it comes to singing and dancing, so there's really no way you'll get a big head. Each person has something interesting that they can do. Others can dance really well, but sing horribly. Others sing really well, but you can't help but giggle when they try to shake their ass. Others just are really professional looking. Others you just wonder where the hell they got the courage to even show up. Its just a motley of people, and its the most fascinating thing I've ever been to. But the thing I like the most, is that you can get just wild doing the audition. Give it your best shot. Do your best. Shake that booty ass and wiggle those hips, and croak at the top of your voice. Anything goes, just as long as you do your best. There's this rush that you feel afterwards that's irreplaceable. You feel liberated, like you just conquered the world.

And I met a couple of nice people, too. Its a shame I didnt get their number, but maybe I'll see them in the next audition. Now I'm really glad I went; I have my friend to thank for dragging me into it. I won't probably get into the play, but I'm almost sure he will, cause he did really well during the audition. (Thanks Bryan!) At this point I know what I am, what I'm lacking and where I stand when it comes to performance. I'm probably not the closet super diva that I thought I was, but I know where exactly in the spectrum I'm in. Its the best feeling when you come to the realization and the truth, and at what point you're standing on.

No more illusions, and there's no way but forward. With the rush and thrill of the game, I think next time I'll confidently head off to an audition without anyone having to drag me; and the next time, I'll come in prepared, better and closer to the diva I'd imagine myself to be. Thank god this audition was of Annie and not Rent or Les Miserables. I'd probably die if I ever miss a chance with those two plays, even if I was just the scum at the background. (No offense to Annie fans). Would've been a great experience to be able to get into the Annie play, but as of now, I'm perfectly content just being able to attend that audition. It rocks. Cant wait for the next one.

Oh I just thought of a perfect way to describe my experience. Its called "grabbing life by the balls". AMAZING.