On Writing: Learning to Compress Ideas

I've been envious of people who seem to be able to convey a bagful of ideas in a very short, concise manner. These people use a variety of words to explain their ideas without sounding off too intellectual or cryptic. Their ideas, translated with key works, sound sharpened, and precise, as well as to the point. Unfortunately, not much can be said of my writing style these days. They're all conversational pieces, and as much as I like to try and make them compressed, they always come off sounding bookish and unnatural.

So, I'd like to write like that, and I would like to propose a breakdown of my writing style and see if I can edit it in such a way that I would be able to transform it into a more publication, editorial worthy entry.

Lets take this snippet of a recent post for example, describing the third type of response/action for people who have just hypothetically recently acquired one million dollars:

The third option is one that we learn when we're older and more "mature". This doesn't come out naturally at first, because it doesn't address the concept of money exchange in the way that we understood it when we were just first grade schoolers. There's a bit more background to put up before completely understanding how it works. There's the concept of devaluation, economics, inflation, government policies and tax laws... you know. All those boring stuff you avoided when you were probably in highschool. I know I did. Take compounding. Although I knew it was a sweet concept to begin with, I hated the idea of memorizing the formula ... if I could get away with it, I would steer clear. I would even get to the point of answering all the math questions... except the ones I knew were related to compounding (yes, I know, I was quite stubborn) But the third option, if there was really no urgent need to use the money, would be the best option to put your money into good use. Because it will likely generate more money for you, than compared to having to spend it immediately and losing everything, or leaving it in a savings account where the interest is absurdly low (or none at all).

I believe this section could still be compressed into a less wordy paragraph, and edited to bring out a well-thought out paragraph that would be formal and editorial-worthy. How about:

The third option is one that can be discerned only after understanding current financial concepts, which might involve comprehending devaluation, economics, inflation, government policies and tax laws - not something that would be normally understood by the average preschooler. Taking compounding as an example: The idea that compounding is a strong key to financial success, but complicated by standard algebra type knowledge in mathematics. In our scenario, it would be this third option that would be a more profitable path to pursue, particularly when money would not be needed in an urgent manner. This option would instead make money work for you, by taking advantage of compounding and generating income, instead of utilizing the money for short term needs and luxuries.

I think its good, but could still be better. How about this:

There is a third option, but this is only limited to those who are capable of understanding complex concepts such as devaluation, economics, government policies and tax laws - something that an average preschooler would not readily understand due to lack of experience and exposure to the real world. For example, compounding requires a basic understanding of algebra, which are normally taught only after a certain age. This limits the option to those who have an understanding over concepts. Employing this option would result in a money generating capital, rather than losing the capital on short term needs and luxuries.

Any criticique from my readers would be very welcome. I'm not a very good writer to begin with, and I'd appreciate any feedbacks whatsoever. See this as an exercise to improve my communication and writing skills. :)