Tween-Aging and Marriage

There's something about growing old that threatens people. It always one of the more important things take note of. People constantly mention age in all types of conversations, particularly certain turning points: "Oh when I was your age..." , or "You're 18 already, you're a man", or was that "You're 21 you can drink booze now"?

When you get to a certain age, there are certain things you worry about. You're a kid, you worry about food (well ok, not really.. I don't think kids at a toddler's age even has the concept of worrying.) Sometime between grade school and high school, you worry about schoolwork, and then during highschool you worry about peers. Afterwards, you worry about work, finance, earning, marrying, kids, your health, your spouse's health.. list goes on and on.

At my age (for your information, im in my.. errr.. twenties.) and particularly a few years back, my friends have been getting married left and right. I think its a cultural thing, particularly in the Filipino Chinese community in the Philippines.. they seem to get married somewhere between 23-25. (Hmm.. I just gave away another clue for my age) No, they're not caused by "accidents", but just that they want to get married. The years have progressed, and strangely enough, I don't feel the urge to "settle down".

Some of my friends have been concerned about their age now.. they feel like they're lagging behind. Everyone's married.. how come they aren't? They don't even have boyfriends at this point, and their expectation is that they at least have to be together with their boyfriends for 2 years before that would be convinced that they have the "right" partner to spend their lives with. These are the people I know who's still living in the Philippines.

On the other hand, I have a circle of filipino-chinese friends in Hong Kong, and it amazes us that we've never really seriously wondered about still being single at this point. In fact, it feels strange to see our friends getting married so early; Sometimes it just baffles the mind. Why would anyone want to get married at 25? It doesn't mean that the thought of getting married leaves a bad taste in our mouths, nor does it ever occur to us that we should be married.. Its just doesnt seem as important or as a priority at the moment.

On the other hand, I've just had a thought this afternoon when I was riding the bus. Totally unrelated, but I heard news that one of my ex-es just graduated his bar exam this year and got a job somewhere. The guy just started working. And he's probably in his late twenties, maybe around 28. At that point, it made perfect sense that why we weren't even thinking of getting married at all. I've been working for 4 years, and I'm still not satisfied with my current standing at the moment. As an afterthought, my savings wouldn't be enough to start a family with. I'm totally engrossed with my work, I feel I haven't achieve a sense of fulfillment in terms of work-peer standing and expertise. And this guy here just started working! How many more years before he will seriously start considering a married life? How many more years will be enough before I consider mine?

Generally, Hong Kong ladies thinking of marriage at the age of 30. That's not an official statistic, of course, but generally from all the people I've met here, they've gotten married at around 30. I know of one who married at 40, not because she didnt meet her significant other late in her life, in fact, they were highschool classmates, but they didnt get married just because the time wasn't just right. Its really strange thing.

I suppose on my part, I've never really noticed my age progressing as the years pass by. I've always felt that I've just been out of school a few months back, and doing a fun, honest to goodness living. Maybe I complain about my job, complain about the weather, yack about stupid songs and awful, cheesy movies, but how's that so much different from when I was studying? I doesnt feel its been years since I graduated, and I certainly doesnt feel like I'm getting any older. I just feel.. the same. Probably the one and only reason why I'm not thinking of marriage (I DO have a boyfriend) so urgently.. or saving up for it, as a matter of fact :P

(Not that I loathe getting married, but it just not in my head. The only reason I bug my bf about getting married is because I dont want to have babies late in my life... if you can avoid late pregnancy, why not, right?)

This entry isn't really trying to say that getting married at a younger age of 23-25 is wrong. Its not even pointing out why people should marry later in their lives than earlier. All this is just a thought spawned out by a recall memory on what's been happening lately. I thought that I should take note of it. But I still think getting married at a "young" age of 23-25 is strange thought for me :)